


Bigger Questions

by inheritanceofgeek



Category: Batgirl (Comics), Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics), Red Robin (Comics), Robin (Comics)
Genre: Emotional Baggage, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Former Teen Pregnancy, Given that they're emotionally mature and talks about their feelings., Healthy Relationships, I should probably tag this as an AU, Mentions of Sex, Mentions of broken condoms, Pregnancy Tests, open communication
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2019-10-29
Packaged: 2021-01-08 02:15:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21228116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inheritanceofgeek/pseuds/inheritanceofgeek
Summary: Steph's been here before, ten years ago. A bathroom floor. A pregnancy test. Her heart in her throat as she waits for her destiny. But this time things are different. This time she has a hand to hold.





	Bigger Questions

**Author's Note:**

> Had this buzzing around in my head for a little while and decided to finally put it down on e-paper =)

Stephanie had been here before. A decade ago, she'd sat on the bathroom floor with a timer next to her, staring at a pee covered stick. Waiting for it to tell her her future. This time though, she wasn't alone. This time, Tim was with her. Looking just as nervous and uncertain as she was. His hand clutched tightly to hers. 

They were always careful. Always using two forms of contraception because nothing was 100% effective. Which is what had proven true last month. The condom had broken, but Steph was on the pill and getting emergency contraception didn't feel worth the pain it would cause. Tim had  _ lovingly _ cleaned her up, and it had proven a good and fun time. 

But then… but then she'd found herself craving pickles, and feeling nauseous every time she woke up. The month before she'd been on a mission and hadn't taken her pill at the right time. She'd taken it in the end, but what was the time between taking them? Those things were important, right? Maybe she was coming down with a bug, maybe she was just working too hard with her new job and the long nights Batgirling?

She'd just… it gave her flashbacks to that first time. She couldn't push it away and it had started to eat away at her… so. So she'd told Tim what was up, and they'd gone out together to buy the pregnancy tests, and then she'd pissed all over them and then they were sitting on the floor.

"It's probably nothing." Steph babbled unconsciously "I know this has happened to me before, but it's usually  _ really hard _ to get pregnant!" 

Tim just hummed in response. 

"Plus, it's not like I  _ didn't _ take it _ at all _ ! I did-- just a bit late. It's probably all fine and there's nothing to worry about. I'm just being over cautious." 

Tim squeezed her hand tighter and leaned his head against her shoulder. 

"Also,  _ also _ it was probably the wrong point in my cycle  _ anyway _ !" 

Tim nodded in vague agreement, his eyes not leaving the tray where the tests lay. If she was nervous, she couldn't imagine what  _ he _ was going through! She'd been here once before, but this was his first time. And this time around, he  _ was _ the guilty party. Though… was guilty really the right word? It wasn't like they'd done anything particularly  _ wrong _ . Two people i their mid twenties having sex as part of a commited relationship was perfectly normal and socially acceptable.

The timer on Tim's phone went off though neither of them moved to silence it. They just continued to stare at the tray until Tim finally pulled it towards them. Her heart was pounding and she couldn't speak. She couldn't look. She didn't want to know what the result was because whatever it was would make everything real. 

Tim methodically went through each stick, placing them back down upon the tray in neat lines. "They're all negative." He said as calmly as possible. Steph carefully picked up one of the sticks and stared at it. It had all been much more complicated when she was a kid and had to check the packet twice to be sure what those two pink lines staring up at her meant. This time the results were as clear as day, lit up bright against the digital readout. Not Pregnant.

Tim's forced cheeriness continued "So no need to worry about anything! We can just continue on as normal, and put this behind us. We can-- Stephie? Are you okay?"

She hadn't realised she was crying until he asked. His arm slipped around her shoulders and he pulled her closer towards him. "Steph, please talk to me. Tell me what you're feeling. I need to know Steph, I need you to tell me so that … so that I know what I'm meant to be feeling too." 

"I'm just…" Steph gulped, still looking at the read out but leaning further into the warmth of his body. "I remember sitting here ten years ago, and I said to myself. 'The next time you do this, you'll be happy. The  _ next time _ things we'll be different. You'll be older, you'll be wiser, you'll be in love and you'll be  _ happy _ .' And-- and I'm here again, and-- and everything  _ is _ different! Dad's in prison. Mom's been sober for eight years. You're here with me… and-- and I'm looking at the test and -- I'm sad." She gulped, finally looking up at him and seeing a reflection of her own feelings. "Why am I sad Tim?" 

He hesitated before responding. Talking as though every word required great, serious thought. "Because, you want to be a Mom. You want to do things differently. You want to go to birthing classes with a boy whose name you actually know. You want to hold a baby shower and paint a nursery and make lists of baby names you know you won't use anyway. You want to know the colour of their eyes, and if they were born with a hair or were completely bald. You want to be woken up at midnight by screaming, to be thrown up on, and covered in pee and… and hold them close to your chest and never let them go." 

Steph was quiet, not saying anything as she took in the gravity of his words. They fell heavy upon her, and she didn't know what any of it really meant. "Is that what  _ you _ want, Tim?" she asked at last. 

He let out an unexpected bark of laughter "Stephie… when I was a kid, I never thought about what it would be like to be a father. I didn't think I'd  _ ever _ want children if my own, because my own father had done such a bad job of it. What if I was like him? I never intended to be a vigilante forever, true, but I still couldn't really see my future beyond that. Then… Stephie-- when I held her in my arms. Your child, the one I knew you'd  _ have _ to give up… the one who had a thick head of mousy brown hair, and the cutest button nose; who kept wiggling about, trying to escape whilst all the other babies were already sound asleep… I  _ knew _ . I knew I wanted nothing more in this world than to be that baby's father. It broke my heart to have to put her back down. To go to your room and hear you say you didn't want to see her, knowing it was  _ because _ you loved her that you couldn't see her. That was the exact moment I  _ knew _ I wanted to be a father." 

Steph let out a laugh that turned into a sob "You would have been a terrible father back then, Former Boy Virgin!" 

Tim chuckled, a true smile spreading across his face "Can you imagine the looks I would have gotten? Having to explain to Bruce that I was a dad now. Explaining that to my  _ actual _ dad!" 

Steph gave him a playful shove "Please, you'd  _ never _ have told him. You'd be Robin: the Teen Wonder Dad! Turning up to parent-teacher conferences in full costume, threatening to throw batarangs at other parents during soccer games, and being the most  _ fearsome _ prom chaperone!" 

Tim laughed, his smile lighting up his whole face as he joined in the teasing "Midnight feeds wouldn't have been a problem because I'd be awake anyway. And we could always ask Batman to babysit. Imagine Gotham's Angstiest Nightmare singing lullabies!" 

The banter felt natural, it reminded her of old times where they'd just sit back and trade jokes on top of a skyscraper. It calmed her down and bought her back into the present. "You never told me you held them." 

"Yeah," he said softly, his voice a mix of emotions that Steph could never name but understood all too well "I didn't think you'd  _ want _ to know. You said you couldn't even let yourself see them, so I didn't want to make your jealous or whatever. But the nurses saw me, and knew I'd come in with you and just… they asked me if I wanted to. So I did." 

Steph gave him a solemn nod, picking up his hand and lacing their fingers together again "I'm glad they didn't have to spend their first moments in the world alone. I know their  _ real _ parents came to pick them up but… but it's not quite the same. Having to  _ wait _ for someone to arrive, and having someone  _ already there _ . Mom said she  _ did _ hold them, but-- but I'm glad you were there too. I'm glad they knew they were loved from birth." 

"I'm sure they still do." he smiled, pulling Steph into him again and pressing a kiss to the top of her forehead. There was a silence once more, but it was softer, warmer and more comforting than before. The kind of silence that meant everything was right in the world. 

After a minute, Tim spoke again, his voice tinged with anxiety and curiosity "Stephie… do you want kids?"

Steph took a second to think through the answer, and was surprised by how easily it came. "Yeah. Yeah I do. You're right about everything. The names, the classes, the dippers… that's what I want. I want to do things  _ right _ next time." She looked back down at the tray, as though there might have been some sort of change in the last ten minutes. A certain wistful melancholy came over her, and it frightened her to think of what that could mean. 

"I mean," Tim said, twisting around so he could look her in the eye "Do you want to have kids  _ now _ ." 

Steph blinked at him, unable to process what he'd said "What are you on about Tim? Do I want kids right  _ now _ ? Tim, I'm still -- I'm 26 that is  _ way too young _ to be having children." 

"It's about average, actually." He replied reasonably. 

"I'm Batgirl!" She continued frantically "I can't be a parent if I'm  _ Batgirl _ . It would be totally irresponsible!" 

"A) We know plenty of people who are full time heroes  _ and _ have kids. And B) That's not what I asked you. I asked if you wanted kids. Not if you think you should be  _ allowed _ to have them." 

Steph looked at him again, she felt the warmth of his hand against her cheek and bought her own up to hold it in place. "... Yeah. Yeah I think I do Tim." 

"Do you want me to be the father?" he asked again, like it was the most important question in the whole world. As though his life depended upon it, as if he didn't even realise how obvious the answer  _ was _ ! 

"Yes." 

It didn't need embellishing. It didn't need qualifiers and poetry and explanations. They were sitting and crying on a bathroom floor about the child she'd given up so it would have a better life. The child she thought about every day when she looked in the mirror. The child she desperately  _ wanted _ to know but never could. She didn't need to explain to him what that meant. 

Tim looked like a great weight had been lifted off of him "Good. Because, I want so desperately to  _ be _ that father. When I look at you, and I look at these tests… I see a future that gives me hope. I can see myself being happy, and free from the life I never intended on having." There was such earnestness in his eyes, that seemed to be so close to tears "I want to be a Stay At Home Dad, I want a beautiful spouse who lives out their dreams and follows their goals and makes them the same as my own. It's a life I hadn't even realised I'd been dreaming of. Which means, I have one more question for you." He smiled shifting around so her was resting on his knees. He held both her hands in his and looked at her with such vulnerability that she thought he might break.

"Stephanie Amethyst Brown, will you marry me?" 

Steph was stunned into silence. It was a question she should have been expecting, and yet it still took her by surprise. She felt tears falling down her face again, this time, from happiness. After everything they'd gone through together: the battles, the wars, the deaths, the births… how was her answer ever going to be in doubt? It almost didn't feel necessary to give, but words have power, and sometimes saying them aloud brings you such inescapable happiness you just can't resist saying them again and again. "Yes, you idiot.  _ Of course _ I'll marry you!" she laughed, and then leant forward to grab his face in her hands and smash their lips together in a long, passionate kiss that she never wished to end. His arms wrapped tightly around her, as though afraid she was just an illusion. She locked her hands securely in his hair to make sure that he couldn't run away. 

Stephanie Brown sat on the bathroom floor with a pregnancy test in front of her, remembering everything that had happened the last time she'd done this. Except this time, she had a fiance beside her, a plan for the future, and, most importantly: she was happy.

Sometimes, wishes really did come true. 

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoyed this? Let me know via Kudos/Comments or on Tumblr where I'm [Mrsmarymorstan](https://mrsmarymorstan.tumblr.com) =)


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